Genuine Gianna: D. I. Y. cheap thrills


Finished product of the knock-off Dell-Apple hybrid.

Gianna Ciavarella, Reporter

Making expensive products affordably awesome.

What is up, my guys. Today we are breaking cheap thrills history, with the cheapest product we’ve ever produced from this blog. The notorious MacBook.

The priciest and latest MacBook that has been released is the iMac Pro. It retails for $4999, yet with the speediest configurations of all the applicable upgrades this thing can go for a whopping 13 grand! If you’ve ever looked into the other products I’ve made, you would’ve came to the consensus that what I create are considered “gag products”; they’re made to be funny. I would never tell someone that what I have made is real; it obviously isn’t. So lets hop into another joke of mine. Here’s a disclaimer for anyone reading this blog, I’m targeting an AAJHS audience for this one. So my blog will be introducing materials that the students of the school do in-fact have. Lets hop into this D. I. Y.!

Materials needed: Dell Chromebook distributed by AAJHS, fishing line, an aesthetically appealing apple, butter-knife (is not entirely necessary) and a dream.

To start off this project, make sure your laptop is fully charged. Turn it on, search Google Music, and play those funky tunes whilst you have a grand old time. I prefer 2000’s hits, but the selection is up to you.

Are you hungry? Well you’re in luck if you are. Take that marvelous apple you have selected from God knows where and clean it under cold water for 30 seconds. No one wants a dirty apple; if you do, please re-evaluate your life decisions. Now that you have a clean apple, hold it so that your thumb is on the top (stem) of the apple and your pinky is on the bottom. Leftys or Rightys, the rules applies to everyone, so don’t fret. Using your mouth, bite horizontally into the apple, leaning your mouth towards your thumb more so than your pinky. The bite should be on an angle to the opposing side of it. If the apple mark looks severely mangled, smooth the edges with a butter knife. If you are anti-apple, you can cut a circular hole into the same exact area using the butter-knife.

Now, take your fishing line and your dreams; they’re going to come in handy right now. If you haven’t already found out what this project entails you’re about to find out. If you have flimsy fishing line, let me show you to the door; your line is not welcomed. I won’t accept it and neither will The Salty Spitoon. The line necessary for this D. I. Y. must be firm, it cannot bend. Take your apple and pull the upper stem along with the bottom leaves off. They can be thrown away. Using your line, inject the line into either the top of the bottom of the apple; the outcome of your product will be the same whether you attempt from the stem or the bottom. Push your string through the apple until it has pierced through the apple entirely. If you inserted the string though the top, it should come out of the other end; and vice-versa for the bottom.

If you have successfully inserted the fishing line, you need to cut the string so the apple is not connected through the entire line. You will only need of line to complete this job.

Using your line with your half eaten apple on it, take your Chromebook and the line and get ready for the next step. Take the line and wrap it around the display of the laptop. Aline the apple so that it is laying over-top of the Dell logo. The sector of the apple that should be digesting in your stomach and is no longer a part of the apple should be facing to the right if you’re looking at it head on. Hopefully at this point of the process you’ve caught on to what I have in mind.

This joke should only stay temporary; I say this because you’re going to tie your string to the laptop. You can keep the apple there, but there will be a fine line (string) latitudinal to the screen. If it does not bother you, go you!

There you have it folks, an Apple MacBook! In reality you have just created a Dell-Apple laptop hybrid, awesome! Now you can laugh with your friends and act like you have the latest and greatest of the Apple products. After all, all of the products on my blogs are jokes; just like my future! All things funny, this was by far my favorite D. I. Y. on my Genuine Gianna journey. Happy D. I. Y-ing!