Family Relationships aren’t Always the Most Important

I’ve always heard people say that family is the greatest bond somebody could have, but I often question if that is really true. 

When it comes down to it, I believe that family isn’t important if there wasn’t an actual connection between the people. 

Society has always said that family is important. I constantly hear it’s the strongest bond ever and that a person should always choose his or her family over everyone else. It’s a concept I don’t understand. Of course, family can be something strong but that’s only if the people make it that way. It’s not automatically the most important just because people lived in the same house for however many years.

When it comes to me personally, there are some family members that I would do anything for, but that’s because we formed a bond. When my step-siblings were introduced into my family, we got along well. I would say I’m closer to them than anyone else. Whether it was talking about a new shared interest or going on late night tangents over text, we always found something to bond over. When it comes to my biological siblings, it’s like talking to a complete strangers. Even though I see my brothers more than my step-siblings, I have a better connection with the latter. 

I find it much easier to talk to friends rather than family. Usually, friendships are formed because people have the same interest and mindset. Friendships form after having conversations and getting to know the person. When making friends, a person is allowed to choose who they associate themselves with while when it comes to family that’s not an option. 

Although my family isn’t the worst of the worst, they have said some things that are questionable. It can be off-putting and makes me want to leave the conversation. To have an actual family bond, both people need to work together to have a certain level of trust with one another.  Sometimes that trust is lost because of views on some issues. Some believe that even beliefs shouldn’t separate family, but why would someone be close to one with opposing views especially if those beliefs are important to a person.

Putting moral beliefs aside, there’s another issue I don’t understand. Family and friends both joke with one another, but when it comes to family, I’ve felt like it’s always worse. Multiple friends have talked to me about ‘jokes’ that family members make, that legitimately hurt them. I know anytime I bring up an issue, I’m usually laughed at and told my concerns aren’t that big of a deal. When the same thing happens with friends, they usually listen. Why would somebody choose the people that disregard his or her feelings over the ones who are supportive and genuinely care about the person?

What’s most important for individuals would be t0 surround oneself with people that truly care and  would do anything for them. People need to know that they are loved and sometimes ending relationships might be the best solution for everyone. If anyone is ever in a situation where they need to choose for some reason, put aside the people that are negatively affecting his or her life for one’s own happiness.